Disclaimer: This article is intended for satirical purposes only. The author does not intend to offend any group or individual. Please do not take any of this seriously.
Summer is on its way, and you can find millions of articles online with ideas for what to do during the three-month stretch between school. When one reads many of these articles, they may get the idea that they can do ANYTHING over the summer.
But they can’t.
Just because you CAN do something doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Thus, here is a list of things you should definitely not do over summer break.
- Go outside.
We live in Arizona, for crying out loud.
- Crash a wedding.
The last thing you want to happen to you over the summer is having a bouquet thrown at you.
- Volunteer for community service.
What do you owe your community anyway?
- Break a world record.
Holding your breath for 30 minutes isn’t worth the fame.
- Get Alexa to do something right.
It’s not going to work.
Isn’t that what school is for?
- Don’t use social media for a day.
You’re just going to mentally torture yourself.
- Go the extra mile and don’t use your phone for a day.
Yeah. Have fun with that.
- Go to a barbeque.
You can do this if you want to sweat half of your body weight out and have assorted insects eat away at the other half.
As we approach the end of the school year, remember these helpful tips on how to survive summer. Have a fun break, and remember to stay inside!
By: Brig Larson
Photo Credits: dantudor.com