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Tesla Model F to be Powered by Packing Peanuts

Yesterday, Tesla co-founder and CEO Elon Musk announced that the new Model F will be powered by packing peanuts. Musk stated that “Packing peanuts are made of petroleum, so they should burn. 

Once the Model F is released, it will be the first Tesla with a combustion engine. Early prototypes have been highly unsuccessful, failing to start nine times out of ten. “We are very encouraged by the initial testing results,” expressed a company spokesperson. 

A prototype of the car was unveiled at a car show in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Reception to the concept was positive, whereas the reaction to the design was generally negative. The most common complaint was that the fuel reservoir is too bulky, limiting seating and cargo space. In a press conference, Musk noted that he is in the process of purchasing Martin and Sons, the largest producer of packing peanuts. Tesla hopes to integrate packing peanut dispensers into preexisting charging stations and sell the fuel at a 250% markup. 

This development enraged Tesla customers and caused future Model F owners to purchase millions of dollars worth of packing peanuts. 

 

Disclaimer This article is for satirical purposes only. It should be treated as a work of fiction.

 

By: Ryan Roco

Photo Credits: https://www.wired.com/

Categories: Article, Entertainment

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