Article Entertainment

Florida Man

When you think of a superhero, you probably envision a caped character flying through the sky. This character is probably inked on the cover of a comic book or soaring across the big screen. All superheroes follow this mold, all except one. That person would be Florida Man, often billed as the world’s worst superhero. There are numerous internet pages that revolve around this character, who is known for doing utterly ridiculous stunts in an intoxicated stupor. Just recently, Florida Man was spotted pumping 30 gallons of gasoline onto the deck of a boat, inserting the nozzle into a fishing pole holder instead of the gas tank. Mr Man is often arrested for burglary, impersonating police officers, and harassing others with food items. Although Florida Man is frequently in trouble, he always finds a way to make his prosecutors grin. 

Some of Florida Man’s most notable headlines are calling 911 to get a ride home in order to change his underwear, parking his car in his kitchen so that it wouldn’t be blown away by a passing hurricane, and being convinced to end a standoff with a SWAT team by being promised a slice of pizza. Mr. Man’s superpowers include amazing feats of strength, incredible stupidity and incompetence at some of life’s most basic challenges, biting his enemies face off, controlling alligators with illegal fireworks and the theme music from COPS, drinking 25 gallons of used frying oil in one sitting, and being too fat for prison. Florida Man is an incredible character that leads an extraordinary life and never fails to entertain.

**This article is for satirical purposes, which is purely for exaggeration purposes and not to insult or offend.


By: Ryan Roco

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